"The soul of man is the candle of G-d"

If "The soul of man is the candle of G-d," why do we have so many faults? We have been made in G-d's image to be a light unto the nations yet we are not perfect and we do not love everyone as if they were all the children of G-d. We categorize people into Israeli and Palestinian, Jewish and Muslim, Liberal and Conservative. We no longer see humanity we only see titles, graphs, political parties, flags and we forget that our blood is the same color.

As every day passes, I am faced with an emotional struggle.
Its hard to explain this struggle, maybe its just homesickness or that I’ve been faced with this inner criticism of a country I call mine. I spent some time in the West Bank, both in Palestinian cities and in settlements and I found myself wondering how can people continue to live like this? How can they continue to live in a settlement surrounded by the possibility of hostility, with 5-10 armed soldiers guarding their homes in case of potential aggression? Why does stubbornness and anger trump forgiveness and love?

Whenever I get into a cab I like to ask the cab drivers, what does this conflict mean to you? I remember an Israeli Jewish driver named Yaakov who told me, “this isn’t your fight, enjoy your time here in Israel but don’t trouble yourself with our struggle it will only disappoint you.” He continued to tell me of how he lost his 2 sons, his oldest in a suicide bombing during the Second Intifada and his second in Gaza right before the disengagement of the Gush Katif settlements and the complete termination of occupation of the Gaza Strip.

His story reminded me of a poem I had read a few years ago called “Ode. Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood” by William Wordsworth. I recently read the poem over and a few lines struck me.

Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind

Nothing in this world can ever bring back those that have fallen whether it be in honor of the State of Israel or as an innocent victim who’s life was taken in a split second. Too many parents, on both sides have had to put their children in the ground. Too many children have been and will continue to be sent off to enforce a blockade that has drawn international criticism. Too many children will continue to be motivated and influenced by violence and hatred. So what do we do from here? How can we “find strength in what remains behind”? What has remained behind in the aftermath of 60+ years of conflict and suffering?

I struggle with these questions because I try to find the answers. I want the pain of these people to be healed; I want them to love peace more than they hate each other. The blame for this conflict does not fall on one side over another; it is a two-sided struggle. Two sides that have committed grave errors, human rights violations, and injustices.

During my first trip to Bethlehem a few weeks ago I met a Palestinian cab driver named Qnais. Qnais picked us up at the checkpoint and began taking us on a tour around Bethlehem. He drove by his house and showed us how the wall had cut through some of his property but he was compensated by the Israelis he said. A few weeks later I bumped into Qnais again in Bethlehem, he called me Boss and gave me a huge hug. It was nice to see him again, he was a very sweet man and it saddened me to see his living conditions. When he looks out the window every morning he sees the wall, when he leaves for work every morning he sees that same wall and he’ll probably continue to see the wall until a solution is reached between 2 nations and 2 people. I guess I envision that some day when there is peace, when there is calm, Israelis and Palestinians will tear down the wall together and no longer see each other as enemies but as neighbors and brothers. Its funny how I pride myself on being a realist yet I slip into bouts of idealism and it depresses me when I come to my senses and realize that something like this might not even happen in my lifetime.

There are so many people in this region that have suffered tremendously. We have all lost, we have all cried, we have all mourned and we have all wondered when will this all end? I think its so important to remember that the acknowledgment of the suffering of the other does diminish my own suffering. For a Palestinian to recognize the suffering of the Israeli people does not mean their own suffering does not exist. For an Israeli to recognize the plight of the Palestinian people does not denounce the pain they have endured.

The people I have met, the things I have done here have opened my heart, my eyes and my mind. I have found myself loving peace more than I hate my enemy and I have also seen the other not as an enemy but as a human, one with similar struggles as my own. I will end this entry with Psalms 40.

Psalms 40:2-4
2 I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
3 He brought me up also out of the tumultuous pit, out of the miry clay;
and He set my feet upon a rock, He established my goings.
4 And He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God;
many shall see, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.

I will continue to pray, hope, and yearn for peace and maybe one day not only G-d will hear my cry but the world will as well.